Solo Date

What is it about people that make them afraid to go out by themselves?

For quite some time, I have been taking myself on solo dates (that sounds awkward). Not to go out and look cute and try to attract conversation or attract guys or whatever. I really have no motive than to just treat myself and use that opportunity to read/think/write and just have some quality quiet time - regardless if it's loud around me. I've done this for a long time and I find that I get some of my best thinking done in these situations. I've never thought of a name to define such an action, but "solo date" is what came to mind when I decided to write about it. It's almost like an intimate date with yourself. You take the time to get to know yourself, iron out some thoughts that may have been distracting you for some time, and perhaps people watch and let some new creative and ideas enter your mind.

This morning, I woke up at about 8:30, jumped out of bed and decided I was going to go out to Volunteer Park for breakfast by myself. I pondered the idea for about five minutes while checking my e-mails etc. (Mind you, I could have stayed in bed and slept in all morning... and normally I would have chosen to do so). Then I checked the bus schedule to see if I could catch a bus that would get me to the cafe at a decent time for it to still be "breakfast". I saw that the next bus was in 7 minutes. There was about 10 seconds of delay --should I wait for the next bus and take my time getting ready? -- should I just wait and do it another time? -- should I just go back to sleep? It's so cold outside-- then BOOM! I sprint all around my room gathering my book, my camera, changing my clothes, washing my face etc, run out the door and ran two blocks to catch the bus JUST in time! (I have a tendancy to be compulsive... perhaps more than just sometimes... but I've learned to controll it pretty well at least!) And what do you know? It was 8:52 and I was on a bus to Capitol Hill to take myself out to breakfast and read a good book. Hell yeah!

I put in my headphones and turned on some O.A.R. It had been a while. I took in the surroundings, the scene. It's the same route I take to school sometimes, I know it well but it does not bore me. There are always new people to watch, the changing of the seasons etc. I get to Galer street and 24th. Hop off the bus and start up to 17th. Beautiful area of Capitol Hill. Beautiful Area of Seattle. Next thing I know, I see little white specs floating gracefully to the ground. SNOW!!! Here I am, great music, great attitude, beautiful neighborhood, on my way to have great food at one of my very favorite places, and... it starts to snow. Basically, this morning couldn't have been more perfect. The food and coffee were excellent, I took my time enjoying every sip, every bite, and every word of my book. I think everyone should allow times like these for themselves... don't you?

Sometimes people look at me like I'm a pariah. "She must be so lonely sitting there eating dinner by herself" etc. I think some people have to define themselves by whom they hang out with, and who they're seen with. People get afraid to go out by themselves. I know I said that already, but I still find it odd, funny, a little sad? So they sit there in front of a TV, or the computer or whatever (sometimes) mindless activity to keep their minds off of being alone. I think this keeps people from taking the time to get to know themselves and to face their life, and it helps them to avoid thinking, and making decisions about life, and perhaps it helps them to avoid life (in the sense of living it).

And unfortunately I find the need to clarify that I have nothing against watching TV. I quite enjoy it; I also spend tons of time at home perusing the internet, reading and so on. The point is that I think people need to take themselves on solo dates - take the opportunity to treat themselves, take the time to observe, think, create. Most importantly, take time to realize that this solo date is to focus on yourself, your life, your ideas etc. Celebrate the things you like that are going on in your life. Take yourself outside of your comfortable box, get out there, think, and most of all enjoy yourself!